Posted by: madkentdragon | September 7, 2010

All By Myself


Well I’d done it, I’d moved out and after 6 months living with my son, I had my own place. One of my sons helped me move in; thank you TA for the use of the lorry – wonder what the neighbours thought when a Bedford pulled up and my few bits of furniture emerged? Nobody has ever commented!

All the furniture was in place and the Argos book cases and table and chairs had been assembled and everyone left. I was alone, I looked round the house and thought “What the hell are you doing, you’re 52 and have never ever lived by yourself!”

But I was British – stiff upper lip girl you can do it – get a coffee and so I got a coffee and sat down with the radio on and made a list of what was needed. The TV didn’t work because I discovered that there was no aerial and the previous tenants had had the Virgin disconnected and there was no telephone – but I did have my mobile.

Over the next day or so acquaintances popped in to see what was happening and I know most of them only did it to see me fail and slowly my real friends emerged as the rest found that there was nothing to gossip about – especially no men as my ex had said – and some called at 10 at night! Whether it was to spy on me or just being inconsiderate, I’ll leave you to judge.

I continued working and was not claiming any benefits, despite it being rumoured otherwise, but I was determined to do it properly; pay my rent, pay all my bills and hold my head up high. I was going to cope; I was not going to bow down to the nay sayers who said I would not manage!

After a couple of weeks I found that, instead of being lonely and afraid, I was enjoying my life! I was free, after 52 years of obeying first my parents and secondly my husband, I could actually do what I wanted without asking permission – it was fantastic!!

I had a female pal who had stood by me through the problems and often popped in and asked if I’d like to go out for a drink and we’d sit and gossip over a couple of drinks – well lemonade for me as I’d found that during my previous life I’d got a bit too fond of 10 year old scotch. As usual I’d need to go to the loo and as I stood up to go I’d say “I must just pop to the loo” and she laughed and pointed out that I didn’t need to ask permission anymore; oh dear I hadn’t realised people had noticed!!

I plodded on with my life and I was lucky that everything seemed to go right for once, my sons visited and rang, I made real friends of my own and even if I was all by myself I’d made it!!

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Responses

  1. It requires a lot of guts. Not sure how long ago this was, but well done all the same. It’s a really good thing to do, very cathartic and much undervalued!

  2. Fabulous! You’ve come far in your life my love and not only is phsyical freedom enjoyable but spiritual freedom that allows you to be who you are and yes finding out who your friends are also gives you a sense of satisfaction.

    We love you ;o))
    xxxx


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