Posted by: madkentdragon | February 20, 2011


I know that’s seems a weird title for a blog, but we all have one.

 From the remark you make when your best friend asks you what you think of her new dress/boyfriend/family and you blurt out the truth that you really hate it/him/them and that the dress/boyfriend /family do nothing to enhance her – bang goes the friendship because you pressed that button and blurted out your feelings instead of being diplomatic.

The diet that you have so assiduously followed for two months and lost that stone when you see those luscious cream cakes in the baker’s window and bang you’ve pushed that button and are sitting at home with your tea or coffee and two of those cakes! You’ve lost the diet, because you pushed the self destruct button!

On a more serious note an alcoholic’s finger is never far from that button, often hovering half an inch from it & all the effort to stay dry, live a normal life flies out the window when that finger goes down!

He was dry for seven weeks after nasty scare in hospital and he and his wife had their lives back on track – even to the extent of planning a holiday when – BANG! His finger went down on that self destruct button.

Why? Well since he had improved so much he decided to try and get a job and turn from a non-functioning alcoholic into a tax-paying member of society and get a job.

 “Great” you say but he is an alcoholic and his finger is near that self-destruct button; he applied for two jobs and had an interview for one but was not successful at either. He was a bit down but kept looking and in the meantime took over the housework and cooking – his wife works part time – then he got the offer of a trial day for a company. However the date given was a week away, cue panic, fear of failure and down goes the finger!

Despite efforts on his wife’s part and from me he was determined to drown out the worries until we threatened to get him back in hospital! He’s been in so many as a child for various problems that his phobia of this actually won through and today (Sunday) he has DTs and I’m celebrating!!  No, I’m not a rotten mum, although it can look like this to outsiders – it actually means he has stopped drinking again! By the way, he lives about 200 miles from me, so I can’t support his wife as I’d like to but I do try.

His finger is off the self destruct button at the moment and if I could tie his hand up so he can’t reach that damned button, I would.

And if you want to know what mine is – I eat too much when I’m stressed and double the amount I smoke – so pushing your self-destruct button doesn’t just affect you!



  1. I too push the button to hide away from what I need to do as I am an Alcoholic I Once put my self in to the nonsense collage to prove to my doctor it was not just the drink that was affecting the constant pain and fatigue I was in.
    Needless to say after being dry for 9 months I went back to the doctor for more tests and the conclusion was I had Fibromyalgia which was aggod thing to know what was wrong But gave me another button As I was torn between carrying on taken ever increasing amounts of prescription pain killers to carry on OR do what I had been doing and use Alcohol and self medicate with it to ease the pain?. Some time went by and I went and had a drink It had two affects relief that I didn’t die there and then also I felt I had control again of my life with out being worried WHAT IF I HAD A DRINK AGAIN .

    This has worked up until today as I was awaiting some new blood tests as I have not been to good lately

    We all need the kick up the back side every so often as I have.

    My blood tests of many years of way to much alcohol have always been perfect which has been a surprise for me and even bigger for my doctor.

    BUT today is DDay Amaziingly my liver and kidneys are still fine BUT my Folic Acid is at rock bottom which I and my doc have put down to the drink So a supplement has been given for 2 weeks and then will test again.

    That is fine But the buttons are there on the table pain control with even high doses of pain killers than I take already with no drink or Moderate it out again and really on the supplement Folic Acid tablets to get my bloods back and carry on fooling myself.

    The crazy part is that I like drinking a lot and do not get the depression side of alcohol as so many do I function normally (What ever that is)when my body lets me’

    So it will be a long chat tonight and see what we come up with

    Sorry to hijack your situation with your son I do have a suggestion and it is Hypnotherapy But not with any old supposed QUACK but do know of some pro-ply qualified ones I have used this therapy some many years ago for some depression that all convectional at the time treatments failed to scratch the service and with just 3 visits I came out the other side a new person It could be argued why I haven’t gone down this route myself Well after tonight it could possibly be the answer But I need to talk to my partner first

    So if you would like a contact number you know how to get hold of me

    Take care Hope He can resolve it soon As it appears he does want to and that is a big start in the process

    Catch you later ;o) XXX

    Lov JEFF

  2. Thanks for that – may suggest it to him – I know he can be hypnotised as he’s had it done before on stage.
    Watch your bloods because his dropped dramatically and he was ill.
    Take care x

  3. ;o) thank you

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